


Because of You

by systematicmurder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adopted Children, Humanstuck, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Sadstuck, i like doing these type of fics apparently whoops, u can decide what au is going on here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7144757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/systematicmurder/pseuds/systematicmurder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wonders when things will start to feel okay again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because of You

He woke up feeling cold. An empty spot beside him, and it’s always catches him by surprise. He knows someone else is supposed to be there. Waking up with him and commenting on his disgusting morning breath, but he wouldn’t care. He shouldn’t be surprised but he is every morning. The ring on his finger feels ten times heavier than it should be. That feeling usually doesn’t last long because soon after these small seconds of confusion small fast steps are heard outside the hall. The small feet burst into his room and with them they bring smiles and laughter.

“Wake up, dad, wake up!” The small child bounces up and down the bed, he groans. They exchange good mornings and she’s soon dragging him to the kitchen. She’s prepared breakfast, well as prepared as an 10 year old can do. There’s a bowl of cereal and a Pop-tart and he smiles. He enjoys his breakfast as his daughter gets ready for school, having already eaten her own breakfast.

When his breakfast is done he walks to his own bedroom to get ready for work. When he looks at himself in the mirror trying to tie his tie there’s always a lingering feeling. Like someone should be shouting at him for wearing a tie with an ugly pattern. He frowns and picks up his signature shades. He doesn’t wear them around the house but he’s got a public image to uphold. People go crazy if he doesn’t wear them for more than 5 seconds out there. In the living room his daughter is waiting pacing the room impatiently and he is suddenly reminded of him, must’ve been something she picked up from him. He smiles and asks her if she has everything she needs.

“Lunch money?”

“Got it.”

“Homework?”

“Done.”

“Love letters for your boyfriend?”

“Do- DAD!”

He smiles and leads them out the house. The paparazzo has finally started to dissipate from his lawn. Sometimes one or two will wander in and disturb their morning. It’s a calm and sunny morning. His daughter runs past his feet into their car urging him to hurry up. He’s never understood how she was always excited for school. Also something else she might have inherited. _Can it be inherited if they were not biologically related?_ He wonders.

Once she is dropped off he gets a text from Rose, she wants to meet up. He sighs and reluctantly agrees. He loves his sister but she can be a bit… too much for him sometimes. Her wife is already as nosy as one can get he knows they mean well but he’s fine honestly.

He’s greeted with a light coffee smell entangled with the smell of baked bread. He knows why the couple loves this place so much, but he wouldn’t be caught dead in here. Mostly because a lot of old people gather around here and he’d hate to think what kind of spin the media would put on this. Turns out Kanaya is also there, stirring her coffee silently while Rose looks intently at the menu. They give him small smiles and sorta hugs when he arrives. He sits down across from them and he’s suddenly nervous.

“You guys are still good to take care of her after her school right? I don’t think I can find a reliable set of babysitters’ last minute.” He tells them.

Rose and Kanaya exchange a look.

“Dave, do not worry about that you know we are always available to take care of her.” Kanaya smiles gently at him.

She gives him an awkward pat on the hand. Say what you will about her elegant looks Kanaya is quite possibly the most awkward person Dave has ever met, well, second to him that is.

“Well what else you call me in here for? I know this ain’t some lovey dovey get together where we hold hands and sing kumbaya, I know you two have something up your sleeve. I swear if this is something about the funeral, Jesus, that was so long ago. I didn’t mean to miss out on it I just didn’t th-“

“Dave.” Rose cuts him off. She gives him a stern look and he looks almost ashamed. This is the first time in years they have the chance to have a formal conversation and he is beginning to fly off the handle on them.

“We need to talk about your daughter, she’s starting to ask questions.” She says with every ounce of concern she carries in her. He swallows deeply and is suddenly frozen. It’s not that he never expected this kind of thing to happen he just wasn’t ready to deal with it.

“Fuck,” He breathes out running a hand through his hair. “Do you think she’s starting to remember?”

“She’s wondering about the scar, yes”

“She has told me she has dreams about an angel saving her from bright lights.” Kanaya chimes in a sad smile spreading across her lips.

-

Then Dave feels like he’s floating and he’s back 4 years in the past. His fame has reached a peak where his face and name was plastered on every magazine, bus, cab, billboard, and wherever else one can place an advertisement. He’s in his office in his high rise building having a phone conference with a couple of important people discussing movie ideas. He’s playing on his foosball table turning down every idea. Nothing is resonating with him and frankly he grown rather tired of his same formula. Sure it brings in dough and brought him to where he is today, but he needs a little change.

“How about something based on your life?” One of them offers. He contemplates this idea.

“Scandalous,” He smiles.

“Before or during the gay part?” He fiddles with a nearby Rubix cube. Laughing to himself about the thought of a documentary.

“How about the in-between?” He hears.

“Romances aren’t really my thing, but god damn I know he’ll love it.” He admits the way they got together was extremely unconventional and the media practically shat themselves when he came out. They felt like they could take on the world and they still do. He wasn’t sure if they honeymoon phase was supposed to be this long, but here they are. With a small 6 year old daughter they adopted. He swears he always sees him in her curly hair and funny enough. her tantrums.

He glances at the time. His husband should be waiting for their daughter outside her school. He should be going to pick them up soon. Thursday is Applebee’s day and he sure as hell has been waiting all day for this.

The conference runs for about another 30 minutes. They decide to roll with the romantic comedy idea and he’s excited about the project. It will certainly be something different from his usual formula of artistic shit. A breath of fresh air about time the media gets some stellar rom coms about a couple of dudes who fall in love. He sees it now and it’s beautiful. He wonders who would be worthy enough to play the role of himself, maybe he should just do it himself who better to play the role? He also wonders who would be worthy and hot enough to play the role of his husband. The thinks of a couple names and writes it down. He bounds out the building, throws up a peace sign to the small paparazzi crowded outside, and he’s off.

The school was unexpectedly crowded; there were more cars than usual roaming around. Probably something to do with the bake sale happening right outside the doors. He groans in frustration as he’s forced to park across the street at some bank. He gets out of his car and leaves his phone. He walks toward the sidewalk, eyes scanning the area looking for the pair.

Then he catches a glimpse of tiny girl with dark curls. He yells out her name and waves his hand catching her attention. She yells in delight and lets go of the hand she was latched on to. The next few moments take a while for Dave to process.

“Daddy!” She runs toward the street a loud screech pierces the air as a car attempts to stop in time. He hears someone yell out his daughter’s name and she is wrapped around two sturdy arms. They both hit the ground with a bone crushing sound.

“KARKAT!”

He feels his whole world fall apart. There’s blood a lot of it. It feels like he's walking in slow motion as he pushes past people. When he reaches Karkat’s body he is cold. So cold. Their daughter was locked in his arms she was barely breathing. Her leg is twisted in an ungodly way, and she’s got scrapes all along her left side. Her adorable face barely recognizable under all the blood and asphalt. He can’t get it out of his mind that Karkat isn’t moving. Isn’t breathing. He doesn’t want to think it, his mind won’t let him.

He screams.

-

The weeks roll by almost too fast. Like things should have gone in slow motion to let him process but time is merciless. He hates it. His daughter, covered in bandages and an arm brace has forgotten everything from who her parents are to her name. He tries to talk to her and get her to remember, but it deems too difficult for him and he leaves it up to Kanaya and Rose.

Then the funeral happens and he completely misses it. No one knows where he went. They never knew he went out of the country to drink and gamble and god knows what else to forget. He comes back feeling better, not completely whole, but better. No one gets on his case about leaving and missing the funeral. Besides the few voicemails from Karkat’s angry relatives. The event went great no thanks to him according to Kankri. His sister returns his daughter without a question. Her memory is doing better and she recognizes him as her dad.

The house is silent. His first night home he finally gets around to checking his messages and voicemails all of them from his friends and family. John, Jade, Rose, Kanaya, Terezi, Roxy, Vriska, Dirk, Jake, and a couple from distant friends that mostly had ties to Karkat. All wondering if he was okay. What he didn’t expect was the last three voicemails.

All from that Thursday. All from Karkat.

He presses play.

“Alright asshole, so apparently since you forgot to make reservations for tonight I just did it, Be thankful. Also I haven’t even stepped outside for more than 30 minutes and I already have seen your face in about 100 different signs. Isn’t there some other celebrity people can gush over? Oh who am I to talk. Honestly I don’t know whether to be proud or aggravated. No one else should have to be put through having to see your face 24/7 but me. Whatever, I’m frustrated. Yes! That kind of frustrated. Looking forward to tonight, Love you.”

End of message 1

“God damn it, Dave pick up your phone, why do you make it so hard to monopolize your time? I guess you’re probably busy at some meeting or some other bullshit. Anyways I’m going to pick up our daughter now from school. It’s pretty nice out today isn’t it? The sun is bright, almost too bright. Fuck. You better not be late I made those reservations for 7pm sharp and I want to pick up something I had ordered for Rose. It’s a pretty ridiculous stupid gift and I can’t believe I let myself buy it. I think your shitty sense of humor is finally starting to rub off on me. Oh, the school is letting out now. Later.”

End of message 2

“What did I tell you? What the fuck did I tell you! Don’t be late! Why aren’t you answering my calls you’re starting to worry me. Did you just not show up or what the hell? This is stupid, we look stupid waiting for you! Huh? Oh. I guess she found you?”

End of message 3

_

“Dave.”

“Dave?”

“Dave!”

Rose snaps him out of his trance. His eyes sting and he quickly blinks it away.

“Would you please just talk to her?” She pleads with him.

“As much as we love her and you we find it best that you should be the one to talk to her.” Kanaya finishes.

“Yeah, sure, no prob.” He nods stiffly and walks away without another word.

-

He spends his whole day at work cooped up in his office. Not that it's much a big surprise to anyone anymore. He stares out the window thinking about how he should approach the topic. People come in and out bringing in paperwork, scripts, applications from screenwriters and editors. Paper, paper, paper. He can't recall the last day he's had a fun day at work. Wrong, he actually can and it sucks. He leaves without saying goodbye and ignores the flowers left at the receptionist's desk. All addressed to him from concerned fans.

-

“Daddy are you okay?” She asks him as they drive home from Kanaya's and Rose's place.

“Yeah sweetie, of course I am the definition of okay, look it up.” He jokes and she rolls her eyes. She turns her attention back to her book.

“What ya reading there shorty?” He asks giving a quick peek to her book.

“It’s a book about a girl who has a crush on this smelly boy it’s pretty dumb.” She wrinkles her nose.

He chuckles. “Why would you read it if you think it’s dumb?”

She makes a thoughtful sound at that. “Ugh because the characters are so dumb!” She drags out the O’s in ‘so’ and she groans and shakes the book out of frustration.

She begins to ramble on about the characters in a way that is so thought out that he wonders why she was held back a grade. By the time she’s done he whistles, impressed.

“I’ve never seen anyone so upset about Junie B. Jones’ love life you’re starting to sound like Ka-“ He stops there and shakes his head. “Nevermind, you just sound really into it.”

She gives him a curious glance but leaves it be.

-

The rest of the day is rather dull. He makes dinner and listens to her talk about her day and she listens to him talk about his work. She doesn’t quite understand it but she pretends. He never lets her know that work has been nothing but stress. He hasn’t produced or directed a decent movie in years. He never finished the script or thought about touching the long abandoned idea for that rom com. That doesn’t stop a select few from harassing him about it almost constantly. The name Dave Strider is on its path on becoming as infamous as M. Night Shyamalan. Dave shudders at the thought.

Once they finish eating and cleaning up after themselves they get ready for bed. He goes to her room though it is open he knows once on the door frame to let her know he is there. She directs her attention from the book to him. She smiles then looks curiously at the box at his hands.

“I need to talk to you for a quick mo.” He says setting down the box at her bed as he pulls up one of her pink princess chairs next to her.

She touches the box and slowly opens it. She begins pulling out pictures, letters, movie ticket stubs, and a lone cd. She looks at the pictures the most. Concentrating on one particularly. The one they took at the San Pedro beach in L.A. Karkat was holding their daughter on his lap with a tired smile. The sun had begun to set and Dave thought sleepy Karkat was the cutest thing so he wasted no time in pulling out the camera.

“That’s… that’s your dad. Your other dad, my husband.” He managed to say.

He gathered all the pictures that had Karkat in them. Sleeping, tired, happy, drunk, angry, and all Karkats. Dave hasn’t looked at these pictures in ages. So it felt like seeing a stranger. A stranger that he loved and married. A stranger who he adopted a kid with. A stranger he misses so much it physically hurts. His daughter runs a finger along the pictures.

“I see him in my dreams sometimes.” She says quietly. A perplexed look on her phase like she’s trying to solve a puzzle.

“He saves me from the lights.” She says with a smile.

Dave is quiet for a few more moments as she looks at the other pictures. Where it’s just Dave and Karkat. A lot of them are cheesy couple pictures. One you would see anywhere. Another lot of them are hilariously captured candid shots. This earns a few giggles from her. She especially likes the one where Dave and Karkat are engaged in an arm wrestling match. Dave remembers this from one of Jade’s game nights. They were so desperate to prove they were better than the other back in the beginning. Things were simple back then.

“What happened to him?” She finally asks the fatal question.

“He died,” Dave says emotionlessly. “He saved your life.” He looks at her. For second it almost sounds accusatory and he’s angry with himself that he thinks about that. He’s spent so long blaming himself afterall. He relays the whole story to her as best he can. Laying out all the cards on the table. By the end of it there’s small tears formed at her eyes.

“I’m sorry!” She sobs rubbing her hands into her eyes.

“I messed it all up didn’t I? Daddy isn’t happy anymore because of me!” She goes on and Dave panics.

“No! Honey, no, it isn’t like that.” He pries her hands off her eyes by the wrists. They look straight into each other’s eyes.

“Don’t you ever think that for a second, please. These things, they just happen ok? It is absolutely nobody’s fault. Especially not yours.” He says sternly and he feels pretty damn fatherly. Her big eyes are watery and she eventually nods.

“Don’t ever say I’m not happy, because I am with you, honey if your dad didn’t manage to save your life,” He lets go of her hands. “I would be so sad.”

“But, he did save me. So you are happy right even if he’s gone?” She asks.

Dave thinks about that for a second. The question catches him off guard. Of course he isn’t happy that Karkat isn’t around anymore. He doesn’t think he will ever get over the fact that he just simply isn’t coming back anymore. Somehow though, in the patch of depression he has sunk into there’s light. It’s a glowing laughter that makes him breakfast and discusses the relationships of fictional characters. Things are okay again. He’s happy. She makes him happy. He knows that if Karkat knew that he had to sacrifice his life to save their daughter he’d do it again. That thought hurts Dave but he knows it’s true.

“Of course I’m happy, because you are alive, because of him.” He smiles and reaches in to hug her. She hugs back and squeezes as tight as her tiny arms allow her.

“Good, because I’m happy too.”

For a brief moment it feels like Karkat is smiling with them and they’re together again, like nothing ever happened.

"Please don't leave me ever again." He sobs against fabric.

_"Wouldn't dream of it, you dumbass."_

Yeah, he's okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> if there's any mistakes im sorry  
> it is 3am and i am extremely tired


End file.
